April 2020, Finding Silver Linings and Ways to Keep our Sanity

Apr 26 2020
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I rewrote my last blog post about a thousand times because of Covid-19 changing our lives by the minute. I really regret that now because I deleted a lot of what had been going on with us before everything went to hell. These little updates I put out once a month have become a bit of a journal for me that I’ve really liked to have. So I’m going to start writing in more past tense about the whole month – so this was our month of April 2020 at Grandma’s House.

Lodi and I had planned on him moving in by the end of April 2020 with or without him having a day job out here. I was SO totally and completely done with the long distance relationship bullshit, it was rapidly becoming unsustainable no matter how much we loved each other.

Compound that by a thousand with Covid-19 making every day for “essentials” like me a sprinting-scrambling-acid-trip and the constant horror of knowing my Mom had three strikes against her: Congestive heart failure, over 65 and going through chemotherapy for cancer… I wasn’t in a good place emotionally.

In late March Lodi was laid off due to the corona virus and we were under shelter in place orders here in MN. He drove home for good on March 27th and that was that.

Thank goodness because I had reached the end of my rope.

I needed him.

The irony of our lives in April 2020 was equally horrifying and hilarious.

On one hand there’s Lodi: extrovert, people person, loves to go out, talks on the phone with friends and family daily, probably has never gone a single day without going SOMEWHERE in his entire adult civilian life and was aided by that by living in a big city with TONS of places to go and things to do.

And then there’s me: introvert, has nightmares about being trapped with someone who is talkative, absolutely despises talking on the phone and has spent weeks at a time without leaving my house besides going to my day job. (Last year I literally took a week off from work and NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE to remodel my entryway as a birthday present vacation to myself!)

Guess who was an essential employee and which one of us got trapped at home?

Me getting home from work
Lodi: I’ve decided I won’t drink unless you’re home.
Me: Why?
Lodi: I’d end up with a drinking problem… Want a drink?
Me: Yes.

April 2020 was just a Nightmare for everyone.

Maybe we can all just sum up this month as NOT GOOD and never talk about it again?

Lodi and I may be opposites when it comes to extroverts/introverts but our personalities are basically the same, we’re both pretty high anxiety over thinkers who have trouble sitting still. And we both have our own special brand of OCD.

His OCD is more of a clean freak while mine is more of a neat freak. (As long as everything has a place and is IN ITS PLACE than I’m cool.)

Fourth day trapped at home he sent me a picture of the front window:
Lodi: Look how clean I got it!
Me: Holy shit babe that’s awesome!
some time later
Lodi: I underestimated the amount of windows.
Lodi: Why did I start this?
Lodi: I’m an idiot.

I came home to every window (and all the glass doors) in the house absolutely gleaming inside and out. Eventually he’s going to run out of things to clean so I expect there may be lots of upcoming DIY blog posts brought to us by Lodi. I already pointed him at the unfinished basement…

I am outraged/infuriated/offended/jealous-beyond-all-reason that I’m not doing it as working on this house is my life… But he’s home and the basement needs doing.

We’re all in this together one way or the other.

Every other essential employee I saw throughout the first couple weeks of this month looked worse by the day. I was dragging myself home from work feeling like something that crawled straight out of the movie the Shining. My response to Lodi being happy to see me was generally to growl and retreat to a corner of the house.

I noticed the Facebook Covid-19 memes changed from joking about a baby boom to (not quite) joking about a divorce boom as reality set in for all of us. (What a hell of a time for two people to learn to live together!)

Easter came and went, Lodi and I spent it on the couch eating pizza and watching Sherlock. The only reason we realized that it was a holiday was the few places that had been open for curb side were closed and we were bummed we couldn’t go pick up dinner.

Day seven trapped in the house Lodi shaved his entire face off. I came home to what had to be my boyfriend’s fifteen years younger little brother.

Me: What happened?
Lodi: I don’t even know.

A wonderful silver lining this month is that my mom just completed her LAST chemo treatment! Now she gets a three week, much deserved, break to heal.

I couldn’t go in with her for her last two appointments which was a relief. Of course I wanted to be by her side but they shouldn’t be letting anyone in there unless absolutely necessary!

I kept reminding myself that my actual day to day life wasn’t all THAT different from normal but that didn’t at all change the fact that April 2020 just cut my legs right out from under me.

It seems like there were two types of people in this: There were the people that used this time for good: Took advantage of being at home etc. Spring cleaned, learned new skills, tackled big house projects…

And then there were the people like me.

My motivation was just GONE.

All I wanted to do was get myself home and do nothing until this was all over. (Thousands of people were dying – painting my bathroom seemed a bit insignificant.)

We did eventually come to grips with this new “reality” though and got our heads wrapped around how to continue with not just life but our new lives with each other.

I’ve heard a lot of people saying they can’t wait for everything to be the same again but that’s not going to happen for many of us.

My essential day job (and hundreds of thousands of others) was forced to take enormous strides into the digital era that they had been putting off for years. Being the IT person and resident millennial at my company I’m thrilled even though I’m still recovering from having to implement years of changes in a matter of weeks *HEAD HITS DESK* But there’s no going back now!

Every single day of April 2020
Lodi: Want a drink?
Me: Yes.

My favorite Facebook meme: “When all of this is over could us essential employees go home for a month and you guys run things for awhile?” I even saw someone joking about looking forward to going to the dentist again…

Lodi sent me a selfie, “Pretty soon I’m going to be able to join a hair band!”

APRIL 2020 – ONE WEIRD MONTH

We had lovely weather for the majority of April and that was a damn fine thing.

Every year in Minnesota, no matter what, once the weather turns, it simply lifts us all up. I’ll be planting my garden nearly a month earlier than usual this year – let’s hope MN doesn’t make me regret it Ha!

Focus has turned to planning outside projects and I’m finally feeling excitement again after all this started. Excited for the yard, brain storming together, new projects – thrilled to have someone sharing all of this with me!

This was our month of April 2020 with Lodi getting laid off, shelter in place laws across states and Covid-19 making our waking lives a crazy acid trip

Comments

  1. Kathy H.
    April 26, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    Watch out Lodi might want to replace your barn roof. Congrats to your mother on finishing her treatments. I am a house wife, the hubs is retired. We were use to being home but not this much.. I am getting projects done since I can’t go out and about. I live in Central Pa. a lot of rain lately no planting a garden yet. It’s good you have some one so special to go home to at the end of your long day. I hope your office realizes how much they need to you. Stay healthy, safe and Happy. Kathy

    • April 27, 2020 at 8:39 am

      Thanks so much Kathy, stay safe and have a wonderful week!

  2. April 27, 2020 at 1:00 am

    Glad to see you back Tarah… and congratulations on getting through April! Things are no different here in the UK. Lock-downs all over including us because Mr Mac was diagnosed right at the end of March with PMR (Polymyalgia Rheumatica)for which the treatment is a course of steroids….. and steroids lower the immune system…..). So two things, (1) thank goodness for the internet, and (2) thank goodness we have a garden! He may be on lock-down for a long while and therefore so will I, so discovering ZOOM has been a godsend. We talked to good friends in Canada for an hour and a half, we’ve been part of a couple of booky friends groups, and last night, my goddaughter organised a quiz night! So we can keep in touch with folk. And like you, a month of delicious weather decended on the UK, so it’s been lunch in the garden daily! We have a great friend doing all our shopping too.
    Glad to hear your Mum got through her course of chemo – best wishes for her and you. Also glad to hear that you are not alone at home (or should that be home alone!) even though Lodi has taken over all your tasks….. Let him do it – there’s always next year!! and a PS, I have a Spring tour of my garden currently on my blog, so have a look at what gives me joy over here. Have a little UK hug from me. x

    • April 27, 2020 at 9:25 am

      Big hugs to your too Susan! These really are some very weird times, I’m feeling lucky to have just made it through April. I feel like I have jet lag lol Hope everything gets better for all of us, have a great week!

  3. April 27, 2020 at 3:27 pm

    I really liked this new “more of your every day life” blog. Please keep it coming. We need this more then you know right now.

    • April 28, 2020 at 9:07 am

      Thanks Cheryl, I try to write one of these every month 🙂 Hope you’re doing well, have a great week!

  4. May 22, 2020 at 11:19 am

    I wanted to laugh and cry reading all of this. It is definitely a strange time. It’s weird being home all the time but nice that my husband and I both have jobs we can work at home. I’m glad your mom gets a break from her treatments. I hope this month goes much smoother for you both!

    • May 22, 2020 at 12:15 pm

      Hi Ann, yeah isn’t it just the weirdest of all times though? As far as we go, we’re adapting, funny to think its possible to “get used” to a global pandemic but I guess it is what it is. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

  5. Nancy
    May 25, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    I was working as essential also, but was sent home to work, yay! I wound up working 2 of out 5 days for several weeks, got paid for 5, second yay! Got lots done, hubby worked from home full time for 4-5 weeks, went back last week, bummer. I’m hoping I can keep working at home ongoing, since that’s a general plan anyway for the corp. Time will tell… Hope you Mom is doing ok?

    • May 26, 2020 at 11:24 am

      Thanks Nancy, Mom is moving on to her next phase of treatment and is doing ok and responding well so far! I sure wish I could be working from home now too, that would be great. I’ve heard a lot of people who started working for their companies at home will just keep on doing that which makes total sense to me!

  6. July 9, 2020 at 4:49 pm

    Glad to hear you’re figuring things out through all the COVID stuff! It’s been really hard for so many people, and businesses. So many changes. I get where you’re coming from with implementing what feels like a decade of online updates to a business in the last few months… Hope you keep finding the silver lining in the difficulty!

    • July 10, 2020 at 8:38 am

      Yes, these are definitely strange times indeed but finding ways to just keep on keeping on has definitely helped us keep our sanity. Thanks for reading and coming by!

  7. Lou Ann
    September 28, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    Thanks for sharing this! Prayers for your mom and her healing! We will get through this Covid crap hopefully soon. Things will never be the same but hope we get back to near normal. Your mom sounds like mine! Yes my mom has beat cancer!! Through surgery she came out showing how strong she was . Now six years free!!you will celebrate that soon! Hugs!

    • September 30, 2020 at 8:33 am

      That’s wonderful to hear Lou Ann, thank you for sharing your story with us!! HUGS!

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