January 2026 – a New Day, a New Dawn and a New Year

January 2026, its been my tradition to do a recap of the last year with the first post of the new year. I would normally go through all of my previous blog posts but this year I just really didn’t want to do that. In fact I had decided that I would not be recapping a damned thing from 2025. I survived years of physical, financial and emotional abuse. It all came to an end when Lodi punched me for the last time, I finally went to the police and he was arrested in August.

The idea of even looking at those old blog posts while I was pretending everything was perfect, covering up my bruises with makeup and photoshop, makes me want to puke. Someday I’ll look back on 2025 as a good year. As the year I saved myself. As the year I stopped him from ever punching me again.

But right now I just want to put it behind me and I don’t think anyone could blame me for that.

However, as you guys know, I’ve been busy. Not everything behind me in 2025 comes with emotional strings attached. So, here is my recap on all the things I can look back on that just make me happy!

I completely transformed my old office/ workshop into a beautiful guest bedroom. My old guest bedroom is now a real honest to goodness office space that makes me feel so spoiled. The room I’ve always hated (Lodi’s gun room) I made into my dream tool room and I totally love it now!

Besides that I did some work rearranging my entryway, adding a new rug and a new wreath on my front door, and I tackled three of my four main floor closets. (The fourth I didn’t redesign but I did completely clean out, organize and purge.)

Lately I’ve been working on my kitchen because apparently I’m running out of things to work on on my main floor lol.

I pulled everything out of my cabinets, gave everything a deep clean and rearranged and reorganized the whole space. You know you’re an adult when a four tiered rack for your canned goods makes your whole week!

My family was so generous this Christmas with Amazon gift cards making it possible for me to afford these spurges. I even got my little dog Link a new waterer and I put it in a better location too so it stays cleaner for longer.

I realized I had dozens of herbs, spices, salts, sugars, flours, oils and seasonings sitting there in plastic containers beside dozens of empty mason jars. Ditching the plastic doubled my storage space and I went ahead and totally spoiled myself with these cool pour lids for all of them.

Labeling them made my little heart just so organized and happy! I moved everything I possibly could into empty jars and then I just stood there in my kitchen wondering why it took me ten years to do that…

I love having a guest bedroom.

I’ve had several people stay the night and my dad stays over at least a couple of nights a week now. I really had come to believe that I preferred being alone. This is what happens when you live with an abuser for so long. Unless he is with you you’re never allowed to be around anyone else so alone is the only time you’re safe.

Turns out I actually like having company and that goes for little dog Link too. He doesn’t even hide anymore, he greets everybody at the door! I can have people over now for dinner and games and Link joins right in. (The fact that my Dad knows where the dog treats are may have something to do with it…)

January 2026, no more hiding for either one of us though it has taken some time for that to sink in.

The real sink in for me is when I can get excited about the future again. Right now (emotionally) I’m just waiting for the last thing that finally cuts all ties to my my abuser.

The divorce is in the works. I so hope I will be celebrating its finality in my next blog post. I don’t feel like I can do anything until that’s done. Even if I wanted to date I wouldn’t do it while still married and its only been a few months.

Word says that Lodi has already moved in with his girlfriend who my family has now dubbed: his Ex-Wife #4. I can’t fathom anyone that would allow him near them if they knew anything about his past but he moved in with me in just a few months too.

In the weeks leading up to his arrest he had begun accusing me of cheating which I had found so odd at the time. Between my job and his abuse over the six years we were together where did he think I suddenly found the time to cheat on him?

Now it makes sense.

If she knew he was texting me how much he loved me while he was texting the same to her would that have bothered her? Of course not. Of course she knew and of course she believes that I’m just his crazy wife and that he was my victim.

How dumb can us girls be – SERIOUSLY

He had two ex wives, two estranged daughters, two baby mamas and a woman that rejected his marriage proposal two weeks before I met him and yet he convinced me that somehow they were all the problem.

All the changes I made that I mentioned earlier I did in a rush in just a few weeks when the restraining order was put in place.

It was almost like my proving to myself and testing the universe. Can I really scrub every last bit of him from me? Is he really gone? I can have a life again? Fix my home again? Make it right again? Dream again? After six years actually pursue my own goals again? Is this really real?

YES IT IS

It is absolutely astounding how much he cost me.

I have so much time now! Time for my job. Time for this blog. Time to have friends. Time for my family. Time for me!

I’m taking my first vacation in years!

I went on two vacations with Lodi neither of which I enjoyed or wanted and both of which cost me a lot. I never had any input, choice or say in the matter. (Of course not going would have been out of the question.) The amount of wasted time and money and effort I lost to him makes me sick.

Never again and that is worth celebrating.

I may have lost a lot but I’m not going to lose any more.

Of course in true “me” fashion when I say vacation it isn’t what most people mean when they say vacation. When I mentioned taking a week off in February my boss asked, “What are you working on?”

Yeah, she knows me pretty well.

I’m working on the house of course!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I will be sleeping in and doing nothing as much as I want but I’m really itching to start in on the basement and one of the things that always gets me excited is paint. I’ve decided on a light green for the cabinets. Not pastel. Not florescent. Not pea green. Not sea green. Maybe more of a moss green… Somewhere in there with maybe a slightly darker shade on the bottom cabinets.

I brought up my basement kitchen quite awhile back and you guys really showed up for me!

One of you mentioned that I should consider installing a self venting hood above the stove for both added light and, obviously, because it could really use a vent down there.

With the open ceilings I can grab electrical and drop it down to put an outlet in really easy there too. And its affordable. And I can still put the microwave above it.

Good idea!

One of you also urged me out of replacing the sink with a much smaller one and I think I’m convinced. There is no dishwasher. If anyone actually lives down here for any length of time they will really appreciate the double sink.

One thing I’m on the fence about (that one of you suggested) is taking off the upper cabinet doors. The basement is a small space, leaving them off would make it feel more open… On the other hand though (as my Mom pointed out) anything I keep in the upper cabinets will then get dusty so unless this basement is going to get daily use do I really want to be cleaning those cabinets out every time I have company?

I still need to replace the kitchen sink faucet and (big bummer) I also now need to replace the antique faucet on the old bathroom sink too. I can’t be too upset as it is over a hundred years old… BUT STILL.

Christmas brought me gifts from family of all new lights for throughout the whole basement and a small ceiling fan to replace the chandelier. The LED lights are super cool though I’m still leaning to bringing in two pendants for the kitchen to bring some light down over the island. I already have the pendants I just need to purchase shades for them…

I put my old island down there and that’s already giving me major happy vibes with just how much work it can do for that kitchen. Its practically doubling the counter space and everything that used to be on the counter can literally store right there, at hand, in the island!

I think I’m going to add hooks to the island too for towels, spatulas, spoons etc.

Unfortunately Lodi threw my little island out into the yard several times over the years. (I have no idea why he hated it so much… I guess it was just in the middle of the room and easy to grab.) My great Grandpa’s radio stand that I built it out of proved to be pretty tough but the butcher block I built for it broke several times.

I’m hoping I can save it but we will see.

Looking at options online it turns out I could just buy a 3ftx2ft butcher block cutting board that would work perfect here and right now this one is only $70 – I had no idea they made cutting boards that big!

The island also needs to be repainted. I’m considering doing away with the red and painting it a green to tie in with the kitchen cabinets.

That might be really nice actually!

My goal is to get away from the stark black and white feel down there and though I’m not going to repaint the black trim or floor I feel like I can really warm it up in other ways eventually with big rugs, bedding, artwork, furniture etc. I’m also looking at options to cover the ceiling and that led me down the rabbit hole of board specifically designed just for sound proofing.

At first I thought I would have to insulate and maybe sheet rock the ceiling but I don’t actually want or need insulation between these floors. I really just need sound proofing. Well, it turns out that sound proof board is a thing! And it is quite light weight so it will be a lot easier to install by myself.

I can actually “finish” the basement to my liking for less than $2,000 which has me pretty excited!

My new tool room reveal came out last week if you would like to see all of the pics and here’s some sneak peeks of my new guest bedroom, organized closets, new office and redesigned entryway.

Yes I still need to fix around my new front door but its not just cold outside right now, it is STUPID cold outside right now. Two days ago (Friday) when I went to work at 8:30 it was negative 27 with a negative 48 degree wind chill. I’m not going outside to cut trim until it warms up a little!