Life Changes and the 2019 Fall photo gallery of my little farm. Its been nearly two years since I threw my ex husband out. I have celebrated being single and have happily remained that way ever since. I think many of us know what its like to come to that realization: being alone is a far better reality then surviving in a loveless marriage. I’ve been a third wheel for a LONG time (both now and for years before my marriage), I’ve never had any trouble buying my own drinks, dancing with myself and getting my own self safely home.
In the last two years I took my life back and enjoyed my safe space. Nothing in. Nothing out. I was damn good at my own border patrol! I could finally just do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANTED, everything that made me happy, all that he had taken from me: going out with friends, spending time with my family, working my butt off and just plain living.
(Especially the three letter word that he made clear made me irresponsible: I’ve been having a ton of FUN!)
People ask me, why did you marry him then? Well he wasn’t like that in the beginning. It was a gradual thing, a thousand tiny moments that seemed perfectly reasonable at the time all adding up to an astonishing situation that I still can’t believe I was ever in.
I’ve also lost over 20 pounds!
Without him dictating what I could buy and cook and the disappearance of endless anxiety attacks and night terrors all of my stomach problems dissipated. I eat more now and my energy sky rocketed… its incredible what our mental health can do to our life and bodies.
So, why am I rehashing all of this? Why on earth is this crap on my mind at all?
I am equally freaked out and thrilled.
Is that a thing?
Like I’m frilled or threaked….
Him: Could I help in the yard and get that stucco hauled to the dump this weekend?
Me *long blink*: Huh?
Him: We can use my truck.
Me: Are you speaking English?
Him: I’d like to help.
Me: What will I owe you?
Him: What?
Me: What?
Him: Want to go to that new place for supper?
Me: LIKE A DATE?!
(Me, who hasn’t been on a real date for OVER FOUR YEARS: Opens my wardrobe in panic and moths fly out…)
This is gonna take some pretty serious getting used to…
Someone who likes me? And I like him too? That’s a thing?!
I catch myself just staring at him like he’s not real.
Him: Dance with me!
Me: ARE YOU SURE?!
Its not that I haven’t had the opportunity to date its just that I haven’t seen or met or talked to ANYONE until right now that I actually wanted to talk to. (Unless I was drunk and that doesn’t count cause I don’t remember it and that is absolutely no way live.)
I’ve literally been standing there with a man talking at me and then when he took a breath I turned around, left the building, got in my car and drove home.
I listened to my ex talk for YEARS!
There were so many other things I would have much rather done instead (like contract Ebola or lose a toe to frost bite or get a root canal) than have to listen to another man tell me, once again, how incredible he is or, even better, his opinion on how I’m doing everything wrong with my life.
When I first hung out with the boyfriend I treated him like one of the guys, hung out like I do… embarrassingly uncensored, drinking beer at a bon fire in my own backyard. I was as relaxed as (and as chilled out, with absolutely no fucks given) as I could get.
No makeup, hair up, kinda stinky, wearing my work boots AND my house work clothes: literally just me in my element, just living.
I panicked later: OMG if I had known I totally would have toned that down!
And then I realized how insane and unhealthy that is. Somebody (or a lot of somebodies over the years) convinced me that I couldn’t be myself if I ever wanted a man to like me. No wonder I was cool with being single and totally expected to remain that way because: WHAT TOTAL BULLSHIT!
So, what does this mean for the future of this blog?
No changes at all.
I still have far too many plans and not enough time, energy or money to get it all done immediately like I want to lol I actually have someone who wants me to live my best life!
One hugely miraculous life change though: for the first time EVER here at Grandma’s house, I’m going to have REAL help from a man sometimes! I still feel like pinching myself over that truth omg.
He also comes with a wonderful little dog named Annie who was sweet enough to model for me as she was enjoying my yard.
My mom stopped by, saw my dog bowls, toys and bones scattered about and said, “Its so good to see doggo things here again!”
My bf lives in a big city about two hours from me so Annie is a bit of a city dog. So when she got here for the first time she was ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. And she was such a good girl that we could let her run and not have to worry about her getting too close to my horses or on the road etc. It was still nice enough weather-wise outside I just left all of my deck doors open so Annie could come in and out through my magnetic screen doors as she pleased.
(It was cute as hell, about every hour or two she would come in the house to “check” on us then head out again.)
She came in late one night with the happiest biggest grin on her face I have ever seen on a dog…. AND SHE WREAKED. In true dog fashion, living her very best doggo life EVER – she found something remarkably bad to roll in!
Him: OMG ANNIE WE WANT TO BE INVITED BACK!
Me: *laughing so hard I can’t breathe*
Of course we ruined it for her by immediately giving her a bath… my slipper tub in my master bath is great for giving dog baths actually!
I really had settled in to the possibility that something like this simply wasn’t in the cards for me. I was happy enough.
But no where near as happy as I am now.
So happy for you! Great pics! You had me at Annie! My son attends school in St. Paul! Love MN! laura
Thank you Laura!
Congratulations. I am very happy for you. To get a good guy AND a super dog is a really great thing.
Thank you Terrie!
He is model handsome and you are princess cute…..great picture of you both…congrats.
Make sure he appreciates you. Remember you are the prize….
Thank you so much Rosie!
Oh my God, you three are so cute! I’m so pleased for you all. love, Claudia
Thank you!! <3
Hubba…Hubba!…He’s adorable…I think you are smitten?!
Yep I’m totally twidderpated 🙂
OMGOSH!You are glowing! It’s so wonderful to find a guy that likes/respect a gal-WOMAN- who does things and is not high maintenance with herself! He sounds like a keeper! Plus, HE is GEORGES!You deserve a wonderful soul-mate and HE is lucky to have found YOU! xoxo
Thank you Christine, its been so cool to have someone who actually likes and respects me!
Tarah, I am sooo happy for you. I read your blog and love your words. I live in urban Southern California and your life is so removed from mine. (I could be your mother in age.) Best Wishes on everything!
Thank you SO much Beth!
So happy for you!!! Beautiful couple.
Thank you Phyllis!
I’m so HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I hope he appreciates how wonderful you are! I was so lucky that my husband turned out to be so much more amazing than when we first got married, and blended families. I believe the universe blesses us, and sometimes we just have to be ready. Great fall colors too, 20 degrees here last night, winter’s here! Stay happy 🙂
Thank you Nancy! Yep we’ve got lows in the teens now at night, snow flurries happening right now. Winter is officially here lol! So happy you found someone, yes I think the universe does answer our calls.
1. You look so happy! 🙂
2. So does he.
3. Does he carry a picture of his dog in his wallet?
4. You look happy AND relaxed.
Way to go…
Sheila
Thank you Sheila 🙂
Wow, i am sooooo happy for you! This is awesome news and would like to wish the very best for you and your new beau and Anne. Congratulations
Thank you so much Erika!
Congratulations to you! It sounds as if you have a man in your life now, not an insecure jealous little boy who couldn’t handle everything you have to offer.
Sally, you definitely hit the nail on the head!
Congratulations! Your new boyfriend is hot! Best of luck to you both❤
Thank you Mellisa, that boy makes my heart skip a beat!
Wow, what a happy and uplifting post. I have been pulling for you throughout this journey.
I’m so happy for you. Boy is he cute but nice is soooo much better than cute.
Having someone who will let you be you and support what you love is terrific…….and that fact that he has a dog named Annie is icing on the cake.
Enjoy this time in your life.
You deserve every second .
Thank you so much Susan! <3
What a beautiful and lovely story. You deserve to have all the happiness that handsome man can give you. Congratulations.!
Thank you Darlene!
Congratulations and it’s time to rejoin the world. It takes time to heal and grow, I know, but it’s too easy to become solitary – and you’re too young to do that. I hope this time you’ve found your “soul mate” as they say and that you have a lifetime together if that’s what you want.
Your fall photos are beautiful. You have a beautiful piece of land that can always be yours.
Thanks so much Pat, yes I hope I have found my soul mate too currently I really feel like I did!
I am so happy for you.
Thank you!!
Oh my gosh he is a hunk hold on to that
Thanks Annie, I definitely am holding on to this one!
You go girl! And Annie is sooooo cute. Love a sweet dog. P.S. Your boyfriend is almost as cute as you are!
Thanks Tammy, we’ve all just been having a ball together!
SO happy for you! Love all your beautiful pictures here! I have so enjoyed reading all your adventures with your Grandma’s house and all the rest of the farm! Have a wonderful Fall!
Thanks so much Deborah, Happy Fall!!
CONGRATS!!!!! You so deserve this! So happy for you. He’s such a cutie and he likes to DIY—perfect match. But the real question is, “Does Mom like him?” If he passes the Mom Test, he’s a keeper!
Thank you Tina! Actually he’s been mom-approved for several years! He used to work with my mom’s bf so they’ve all been really good friends for a LONG time. The stars just aligned right now that we were both single when he came to visit and I guess the rest if history lol.
Your bf comes with a sweet dog and is hot?! Way to go!!! Lol! When my husband left I was fairly newly disabled with a seven year old. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be with me much less anyone as “good” as I thought my husband had been in the beginning. I was single five years and then met the absolute love of my life who only wants to take care of me and make me happy! It’s been almost six years and I have never been happier. I am thrilled for you! There are great men out there, we just have to learn to not settle!
Giselle, I am SO happy for you! I really didn’t think I’d be able to find anyone for me, I guess the universe answers when its the right time!
OMG I am so happy for you! You guys make quite the attractive couple!
And I love your photos! What kind of camera are you using? I’m a hobbyist and rely on easy to figure out controls but love taking pictures. When my 10 year old DSLR died last year, budget restraints had be replace it with something I’m less than happy with. I’m in a better place now and looking for recommendations.
Thank you Liz!
Ok, WAAAAAAYYYY back when I was a kid who loved photography my parents purchased me a Pentax camera with a Tamron lens for my twelfth birthday. I absolutely loved it and took like thousands of pictures and used it for YEARS. So when I finally switched to digital I wanted the same pairing. I purchased Pentax’s first all digital camera that also had a REAL shutter plus then an all purpose Tamron lens. The camera body is a Pentax *ist D. I’m really really happy with it – hope that helps!
Wow- was not expecting that life change-very happy for you both. You two are absolutely adorable together!!! Not only do you have what sounds like a great guy- he also comes with a sweet furbaby!
Thanks Liz, his little fur baby is just a sweet heart, its so great to have a doggo around again!
I am so happy for you, You deserve them in your life..
Thank you Nancy!
Same thing happened to me a life time ago. Got rid of a bad husband, swore off men, bought a house, was extremely happy, then out of the blue met the man of my dreams. We’ve been together for 24 years now and he’s still the love of my life! So see, good things happen! I’m so happy for you!! Have fun, you deserve it!!
I am so excited for you Diane! Good things do happen from time to time! Thank you!!
Hi Tarah — When I first saw that picture I thought you got a new doggy and was so excited
for you. Then while reading on and seeing you and your new handsome friend, I really was super
excited. You look so happy and I wish you the best — you certainly deserve it. Love reading
your posts. Thanks.
Thank you so much Penny! I never could have been with someone who wasn’t a hardcore dog person like me so its been just wonderful having them both in my life now!
OMG you are glowing girl. Radiating joy!! I love it!!! So happy for you! =D
Thanks so much Becky!!
So happy for you! Congrats! Love the update and pics!
Thank you Ann!!
Tarah, I am bursting at the seams with happiness for you. A boyfriend and a doggo! You hit the jackpot. They both look wonderful in your photos and it is so good to see all of you smiling. I’ve been following you for years now and I know what you went through. You should never have to be anyone but your authentic self for anyone. You are perfect just the way you are Tarah! And you totally deserve to be happy being yourself. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Mary, thank you so much for commenting and coming by, I’ve been following you for years now too!
OMG!! I’m soo happy for you!You don’t know this but I am living my life through you. LOL Similar stories, but I stayed too long – 40 yrs too long. I would love to have my parents little farm, not in the cards. Too old to have a boyfriend. I so enjoy your blog and “living’ through you. And now a BOYFRIEND EEEEK!! ecstatic for you. You are simply glowing. And to top it off a a gorgeous one with a dog! How much better can it get ♥ Enjoy. Have fun. Play. Did I say ENJOY?
*hugs*
deb
Oh hon thank you so much for all of your support!! Hope you have a wonderful week!
Hi Tarah, I’ve been following you for a while and have enjoyed all your adventures (except your painful ones…LOL) You do amazing work and post such enjoyable things. I normally do not respond on social media because I’m kinda shy/leery of the whole thing and just watch and enjoy (OMG I sound like a stalker). I felt like I just had to respond to this one. I am extremely happy for you and can totally relate to feeling like I was never going to find anyone. Over 20 yrs ago I came out of an abusive marriage and kind of felt the same way. And then the unbelievable happened. A wonderful man came into my life, who in all reality, I had trouble believing was the real deal. Well, 20 yrs and 3 beautiful Chihuahua fur babies later we are still deeply in love! So glad for you! Keep up the wonderful stories and just be happy for yourself! You are definitely worth it!
OMG Thank you so much Jax for commenting and reading along all this time! I am SO happy for you, its just so awesome to hear similar good stories!
Tarahlynn,
I am so very happy for you. You look so happy!
He is a hunk and the dog is adorable!
Take care,
Melissa | Little Frugal Homestead
Thank you so much Melissa! Its been a wonderful ride!
So glad for you. You look so happy and content in your pictures. You are a beautiful woman inside and out and so glad this guy recognized that. Hugs.
Thank you so much Pamela, Happy Halloween! Hugs.
Tarah,
I am so happy for you! You two look amazing together and genuinely happy!
Thank you so much Maya! Happy Halloween!
Hello, hello Tarah!!
My computer blew up a few weeks ago and I have just got a new one….. so I missed the blogs I follow and am catching up today. And today – well! Saw the dog first, and thought you might have got yourself a rescue dog, but then found you got yourself a lovely bloke as well!
As you have found out, and some other commenters have told you, those lovely blokes are around – I have been married to one for 46 years. Yes, there are times when there’s a little niggle (from either side) but honestly, if he wasn’t around anymore, I wouldn’t look for a replacement!
I wish you joy my dear, and as I always say to friends – a day, a week, a year or always, if he brings you happiness it’s worth it. With love xx
Thank you so much Susan! *hugs*
congrats! what a blessing that you did not have a child with your ex … so now you can really start over like everything is still possible!