March 2024 – I’m sorry to say I have some really sad news

Mar 31 2024
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Hey guys, I wrote this post pretty early in March 2024 to tell you all about our vacation and summer plans. I will keep that here after this but sadly I must first share some bad news. On March 20th Lodi came home and went down to feed our old horse like he always does. At first he thought Gar was just laying down but then he saw that he wasn’t moving.

(I titled our January 2024 blog post: “The hits just never quit last year” – I’m so tired guys. I ended that post on the little hope that 2024 might just bring some better days not immediately one of our worst.)

Gargoyle had been with me since I was 11. I worried about him all the time. This was one of very few mornings I didn’t make sure to see him before I left for work. I was late. I was in a hurry.

Gar had been gone by then.

Poor Lodi for being the one who found my soul horse. There was no sign that he struggled or suffered as far as we can tell.

The day before he was acting totally normal so though he was ancient in horse age, this was still a shock for us.

My mom took this just as terribly as I did. Gar had been with us for 26 years and I would have been glad to have taken care of him forever. We had a lot more time than most people get with their fur babies but that is no comfort.

This sucks.

October 2020 - so when I said in my August 2020 post that our back entryway just kept growing into a bigger and bigger monster

1992-2024 BR Hal Garcia.

Just that afternoon a friend came over with a backhoe and we buried him not far from where he was. I wrapped a rope around my old boy for the last time so we could drag him to his place.

We decided to put him right in front of his shed in the sun.

No more horses for me. I can’t do this again.

And now I have a new empty spot in our yard to try to wrap my head around. I wonder how long it will be that I’ll finally stop looking for him every morning and every time I come home and every time I leave.

When mom fed our animals for us when we were gone she said she made sure to find him every morning. I told her we all did it. It couldn’t be helped.

When I brought Gar here in 2015 this place officially became my home. It feels very wrong that he isn’t here anymore.

And it feels awful to share what I wrote before this happened but I don’t have the heart to rewrite it. So here’s the post about March 2024 filled with a lot of happiness and plans.

God I’m sad.


In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and a lot of fun but with two days to get there and another two days to get home for a three day cruise I was quite ready to put traveling behind me. How is it that humanity invented the awesomeness of flight and yet somehow managed to make it suck the whole time!?

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

The cruise included a stop in Cozumel where we enjoyed some beautifully hot weather that, even with no winter here, still felt absolutely amazing!

This was my second cruise that somehow landed exactly twenty years after my first cruise. It was basically a birthday present to all of us landing only days after my 38th birthday, purchased for Lodi’s daughter for her 21st birthday and only a couple of weeks after Lodi’s 42nd birthday!

If you haven’t been on a cruise before I would totally recommend it. Once you get there it is completely stress free!

There’s tons to do and participate in and also perfect for doing absolutely nothing which was what I did most of the time lol. Oh besides lots of eating and the food was really good!

The doggos were happy to see us and remained very clingy for days after we got home – even climbing into bed with us which is not a normal thing!

Besides the traveling to get there and get home the cruise was a great experience but it did cement one glaring truth: I’m becoming more of a home body by the minute.

I REALLY MISSED EVERYTHING.

And I was so very relieved to finally get home.

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

March 2024

I was excited to build a new raised bed garden this year after taking out my old one with the barn last year but I would be in a mad rush to get it built so I could plant ASAP if I want to use it this year.

And I really don’t want to be in a mad rush about anything that isn’t an actual emergency anymore… Maybe another sign that I’m getting older?

This garden already means a lot to me so I want to take my time on it. And now that I’m typing it out here for this post I already know that that’s what I want to do.

But I’ve skipped gardening twice since I moved in here nine years ago and I regretted it both times so that’s not an option lol.

Last year I did a few containers but it didn’t go great entirely due to the location I chose. So I’ll do a few containers again but in a different spot in the yard this year.

That should appease my gardening bug and let me take all the time I want on my new garden!

Talking about our new garden.

We’re going to buy chain link fence panels to create a big (deer proof) enclosure and use either pea gravel or wood chips etc. to cover the ground of it.

From there I think we’ve decided to use stock tanks for our raised beds.

Initially we had discussed building all of our raised beds out of cinder block but that just seems like a lot of time, effort and cost. Using stock tanks will give us the exact same outcome with almost none of the time or effort and a lot less cost as well.

Not to mention stock tanks wouldn’t be permanent.

Early in March 2024 Lodi and I did our spring walk about and went over our plans for 2024.

Last year hit us really hard both emotionally and monetarily with our decision to take out the barn and then having to replace our entire septic system besides.

We both deserve less stress this year so that’s the number one plan.

There is actually only ONE project that we need to get done this year.

To code all new septic systems where we live must be covered and seeded. So the yard will be getting the full treatment of black dirt but that’s a project we’re both looking forward to.

Our yard has been a sand pit for long enough!

After that not a single one of our projects are urgent or anything that we HAVE to get done. And they’re all doable and affordable and we already even have the materials to complete most of them.

Siding and fixing the well house, an awning over the garage access door, clearing out and making us a campsite on the north side of our property, a new garden and planting some trees.

In late February into March 2024 Lodi and I went on a cruise with his daughter and her boyfriend. It was lovely and very much fun but

Comments

  1. Jeannie
    March 31, 2024 at 3:42 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about Gargoyle’s passing. Animals ask so little and give so much.

  2. Lucy, Netley Abbey, Hampshire
    March 31, 2024 at 5:51 pm

    I’m so, so sorry for your loss, I’ve never had a horse but I can imagine to some extent the relationship that you had together would be very different to that shared with a dog.
    I used to fly a Harris Hawk before my disability, I reared him from a chick and my relationship with him was very different from other creatures I had, or have reared.
    Again, I feel for you, although we’re separated by the “Pond” and have never met in life, we are Sisters in Adversity and I hope that 2024 starts to give you and Lodi a break.

    • April 1, 2024 at 10:32 am

      Lucy, thank you so much *hugs* <3

  3. Giselle
    March 31, 2024 at 6:15 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We have a cat that is getting old and I dread the day when he passes. Animals really are members of our families and the pain we feel when they die is very real. You are in my thoughts.

    • April 1, 2024 at 10:33 am

      Thank you Giselle <3 Give your fur baby a hug for me.

  4. March 31, 2024 at 9:40 pm

    Ohhh, Tarah, I’m sooo sorry. We lost our almost 18-year-old cat 6 months ago, and I will never have another. I so understand your “No more horses for me. I can’t do this again.” Gar was blessed to have you, as well as you to have him. Some horses (and cats) are the horse/cat of a lifetime, and that’s all there is to it!

    • April 1, 2024 at 10:34 am

      Jean, you are so very right. Gar was my soul horse, I’ve had other horses and loved them, but he was the one. I’m sorry you lost your fur baby *hugs* <3

  5. Jeannette
    April 1, 2024 at 3:05 pm

    My most sincere condolences go out. To you and your family. You were very fortunate to have had such a great friend.

  6. Ann S.
    April 1, 2024 at 8:09 pm

    So sorry for your loss. I’ve never had a horse but have had many dogs,, in fact today would have been the 18th birthday of my beloved Molly if she was still with me. Needless to say I’ve been weepy off and on all day and it’s been 4 years since she passed. She was my dog of a lifetime. As I told a friend who recently lost his dog, no matter how long we have with our fur babies it’s never long enough.

    • April 3, 2024 at 9:17 am

      Ann I’m so sorry for your loss – no there will never be enough time for our lifetime animals <3

  7. Claire
    April 3, 2024 at 7:30 am

    So sorry to hear about the loss of your horse.

  8. April 4, 2024 at 11:00 am

    Tarahlynn, I am so sorry about Gar’s passing. I was a horse girl and had my own horse until I went to college, but I was still able to ride Copper until into my twenties. Losing him was the hardest thing. I always remember the times I sat in his hay trough and told him all my feelings and secrets. Losing a beloved animal friend is so hard. I hope it proves that we have deep love for our fellow animals. Hugs to you, your mom, and Lodi.

    • April 5, 2024 at 9:27 am

      Carol, thank you. I spent a lot of time just hanging out with our old boy, talking to him and really just chilling. My husband did too, I have a video of him down there playing his guitar with him lol He will be missed so much. *hugs*

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