October 2025 – Little Link and I Working through this Together

October 2025 – as most of you know my life imploded a couple months ago. Lodi is gone and its just me and little dog Link here now. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he never even asked about his dog but my heart broke for Link to be abandoned like that. I was already providing all the care for the dog (just like I did for Lodi’s other dog) so Link is my dog now and we’re getting through this together. Its been really hard on both of us.

In April of 2023, when Lodi’s Grandma decided to move into a care home, we took her dog “Yip Yip” in with us permanently. (Yeah, I changed his name to Link. I couldn’t live with “Yip Yip” and Link didn’t care.) He came with lots of shyness and anxiety… he practically lived in the old guest bedroom for the first month.

(I just realized that Link must’ve felt abandoned then too, poor guy!) He’s a Pomeranian Chihuahua so his nervous attitude comes very naturally lol.

In August Lodi was arrested and charged with domestic assault and a DWI. The state put a restraining order on him on my behalf, he is not allowed near me, on this property, at my work or to contact me in any way.

He was allowed to come to the house once with a sheriff’s escort to get a few essentials which he did.

(Lodi had rented an apartment in town back in March so he had already taken the majority of his things and furniture there to furnish it.)

I was left looking at all the rest and this whole house and suddenly I had a lot of work to do. In a couple of days I had everything of his boxed up and ready to leave – ending up with a pile in the middle of my kitchen and another smaller one in the basement.

My nephew came over and we didn’t stop moving for hours. (Have I mentioned how much I love that kid?)

Poor Link didn’t take any of this well.

Any type of loud noises or just me moving furniture around has always had him at a dead run outside. And something about the giant pile of boxes taking up the center of kitchen right by his food dish made it difficult for him to eat.

(I tried moving his food bowl but it didn’t help.)

Here’s a sum up of what we accomplished that afternoon:

• We moved the island from the garage to the basement.
• We moved the pile of Lodi’s things out of the basement.
• We moved the freezer from the basement to my new tool room.
• We moved the dresser from the garage to the new guest bedroom.
• We moved two stools from the shed to the basement and a little table from the shed to the new guest bedroom.
• We moved the rocking chair from the garage to the master bedroom and grabbed the rocking chair that was in the master bedroom and moved it to the new guest bedroom.
• We also moved a bench down to the basement as well.
• We put up all of my outdoor furniture for the winter.
• We pulled down all the boxes that Lodi had stored up in the rafters of the garage six years ago and got all of his things out of the kitchen.

(His stuff is safe, all together and OUT of this house completely. One of you guys mentioned I would probably qualify for an attorney and you were right! My lawyer is amazing and in contact with Lodi’s attorney to set up a time when someone can retrieve the last of his belongings.

I was advised to get a protection order (a restraining order) and I did file for it but Lodi is fighting it so we have a hearing on October 30th. I have to be there and I have to testify as to why its necessary. The state has already issued what’s called a DANCO (domestic assault no contact basically a restraining order) on my behalf which lasts for months so I have no idea what Lodi’s point is in fighting the protection order besides to drag this out as long as possible.

The state offered Lodi a deal so he doesn’t have to do jail time so we’ll see if he takes it when he goes to court on December 9th. They’re charging him with a DWI and a domestic assault… I don’t know yet if I’ll be called in to testify or not. All of it makes me want to puke, I just want this over with.)

There were a bunch of shelves that had been holding all of my tools in the closet of the guest bedroom that needed to go.

When my nephew tackled taking them down (very noisy with an impact driver) poor Link was just done.

The new guest bedroom is where Link’s doggie door is so working in there (after everything else) seemed to shake his whole little world. It was a couple of hours later that I went looking and finally found him upstairs, in the middle of my bed hiding, panting and shaking.

I was really worried about him!

But that day my nephew and I got just about everything done.

It was like the house and I took a deep breath together.

It felt really good.

That night Link managed to eat dinner but then he slept on the end of the bed with me all night which was super odd. We got up together that morning though and my gosh he must’ve felt the change in the house too. He tap danced around all excited while I got dressed and we went down together to get his breakfast.

I still couldn’t hover at all – I had to sit down and ignore him for him to eat. (And I still do lol)

But he ate his whole breakfast and then trotted outside, tail up, like all was finally right with the world again.

And that’s how its gone since, he spends most nights with me then, after his breakfast and outside business, he sits with me while I have my morning coffee before I go to work.

We’ve become pretty good buds but if I pick up a tool or even look at a table like I might move it that boy is GONE lol.

I have posts still coming out on how I built my garden this spring and wow how that feels like a lifetime ago. In the face of all of this I had stopped watering my garden… well I actually just stopped everything for awhile. Just getting us both fed, getting any amount of sleep and myself to work every day was about all I had in me.

To say I was surprised that my garden was still producing at all is an understatement.

I’d been so depressed I hadn’t even visited it in weeks.

Look at all my beautiful tomatoes!

Tackling the house has been good for me, like a workout, its helping me burn off all of my awful emotions and giving me something better. Having something to do and plan has always been key for me to move on and heal.

When all this happened I spent so much time in bed or on the couch just staring at the wall, I was just at a complete loss on what to do with myself.

This isn’t the first time my Grandma’s house has saved me.

I’m so disappointed. Its sad to say but I haven’t missed him. Money isn’t everything but doing so much better financially without him is quite the happy relief. All of my bills have dropped so much.

I’m doing OK guys.

For the first time in a long time I feel like I’m safe here.

I’m so much better off without him but that almost makes it worse. That it took so many years and all of this… I’m so relieved he’s not here anymore.

And that makes it better though all the sadder too. Don’t hold on to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

I think any woman in my situation would tell you that we always knew it needed to end a long time ago. For me holding on, forgiving, hiding the bruises… just felt like my doing all I could to be a good wife.

He reminded me constantly that I was the problem. That if I just did better by him then he would in turn treat me better. That the treatment I was given was exactly what I should have expected.

It was almost as if he felt I should apologize to him for when he hurt me. Like I gave him no choice but to abuse me. My family reminds me how terribly fragile we are… How easy it is for someone to get hit and never get up again.

A lovely commenter on the blog made me cry, “All that matters is that we still have you!”

Thank you all for being there for me and for your wonderful advice, prayers and kind words.

We had some incredible weather the first week of October.

I found Link out in his kennel, spread out in a pile of leaves and sleeping in the sun. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be a dog more lol.